Keeping your mind out of the shit zone would seem to be a noble cause requiring a lot of positive affirmations and compartmentalization. These tools are the bandaids that most modern-day humans use, in fact. In some circumstances, compartmentalizing is a valuable temporary tool, but as a long-term solution, it is about as useful as putting a tourniquet on a sabar wound, but never sewing up the gash.
In order to integrate trigger:activators we must do the work of integrating them when they surface. I am certain that as you learn to experience trauma surfacing as a blessing, you will easily be doing this work in a time frame that meets your needs AND your schedule.
But first, let me tell you about why I am writing this…TODAY. In the last few weeks, I have found that my newly minted relationship has been activating some old mental programs. These programs are telling me that the behavior of the person I am currently dating is far too similar to the behavior of my ex-husband.
My “wasband” happened to be emotionally, mentally and physically abusive. By physical abuse, I will share that he once chased me down because I said I was scared of him and beat me while telling me that I was the strongest woman he had ever known so there was no way I could be afraid of him. True story. That beating put me in a doctor’s office with broken bones.
It is not a wonder that my brain has some neural pathways that fire oddly. Much of my formative years was a strange assortment of mixed messages, compounded by sexual abuse. If you have been following me for a while, you know that others in my life have also used this odd tacit to make me submit. Calling me beautiful, strong, wise, etc… while causing me mental, physical or emotional harm. This sort of abuse causes you to question your sanity + sense of identity.
If you are reading this, you most likely have knowledge of the damage that kind of manipulation can cloud one’s optimal mental function. Maybe you’ve done the work to integrate the damage but still notice that you frequently look–consciously or unconsciously–for similarities in your current life, relationships, and partnerships comparing them to the past. This is a totally natural action of mind that can be useful as well as undermining if not utilized correctly.
Below is the pathway I take to assist in getting out of trauma mind and back to my center. It is so important to your well-being to be in a place where you can trust yourself to make healthy choices by the ability to look at your present circumstances through a rational lens rather than through the subjective or survival lens.
1) Recognise. Become aware that your mind is perilously close or has entered a triggered:activated place. A great way to tell how out of balance you might be in a given moment is to notice how the present circumstances connect with your thoughts around it. If your mind is telling one story while your experience is telling another, you might be in trauma mind.
2) Review. Drop into a meditative:still space and ask yourself, “Where is this coming from?” Please be mindful to avoid asking, “How do I get rid of…? We are not trying to rid ourselves, we are integrating emotion and bringing balance through loving attention.
Allow your mind free reign; allowing what comes up. So often we limit the truth by overriding it with thoughts like, “I already did that work.” Soothe your saboteur by witnessing what your mind presents. These are the clues to finding the root cause of discomfort.
Do not be surprised if images of the past surface. Most recently–regarding my current relationship–what came up when I got still enough to pay attention was my ex-husband. There is a facial expression that my current partner makes when feeling stressed. This look triggers a memory that causes CPTSD to activate. Once I was able to see that, I felt soooo much relief! Wouldn’t you if you realized that you didn’t have to leave your partner, or blame them or yourself for what is essentially a misunderstanding?
3) Repair. There are so many tools available to us to repair the neural pathways of our brains. What works for me may not work for you. I call in my Guides, the White Brotherhood, Lords of Karma and do cord-cutting, forgiveness (of self and other) and breathwork when practicing on my own. When I need support I call on friends and therapists that do work like EMDR and ART (the image is of me doing ART therapy) therapies. Use whatever tool works for you.
4) Release. Ohhhhhh… that cheezy pseudo-spiritual line that so often people put BEFORE doing any of the above work. Yeahhhhh, it dont work that way homey. Release happens only AFTER doing the above sequence. If you are still feeling the same way, go through the steps again.
If there were to be a step 5, this would be it…
5) Remarkable. Get out there and experience your remarkable self having done the work to advise the neural plasticity of your own brain. Remark on your own power to illicit change!
Go have some fun. Remember to ground and give thanks for another day to make your life magical!
Benefit of Trauma 